When people see the word SUBMIT they get very uncomfortable, begin to think negative things, and want to avoid the meaning altogether. When I first began to UNDERSTAND what submission truly meant I was in a Preparation for Marriage class with my fiance, now husband. We studied this for a while and I begin to grasp what God calls us to be as believers in our marriages. When you learn and honor your spouse(both husband and wife) you will naturally come to submit to one another. As a wife, we are called to submit to our husbands. The husband is the HEAD of the household. He is the Leader. This does NOT mean we have no voice, no opinion, no feelings or worth/stance in our relationship. This is what the WORLD/SOCIETY wants you to believe. However, just as you have a personal relationship with Jesus, you have FREEDOM, well when you have Christ at the center of your marriage, there should be a healthy relationship and union between you and your spouse.
When we look at the definition of submission in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, we see the following: ” to yield to governance or authority and to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation”.
Now let’s see what the Bible says about submission: The New King James Version(NKJV) says, “to be subject to or accountable to another, God, society or fellow believers”.
1 Peter 5:5, NKJV, “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud But gives grace to the humble.”
Ephesians 5:22-24, NKJV, ” Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
At the beginning of my marriage, I had to learn what “submitting and honoring meant”. My husband was learning how to become a husband who honors and leads as we were both new to this. We wanted and only desired a GODLY marriage. In my previous posts, I talked about this a lot as we came from ungodly, worldly relationships in our past. As believers and followers of Jesus, we wanted Jesus Christ to be the leader/center of our marriage. Christ first, husband, and then me. Our children today, fall into this line under me. There is an order and because we strive to follow scripture, Praise the Lord, He has been faithful and has blessed our little family. God keeps His promises. When we obey and our heart desires to follow Him, He sees and honors that.
John 14:23, NKJV, Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.
Deuteronomy 28:1, NKJV, If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.
James 1:22, NKJV, Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
John 15:16, NKJV, You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit fruit that will last and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.
Some QUESTIONS/CONCERNS some people may have about submission:
How did I learn to be a better wife and submit in my marriage?
I hung out on the above verses and more verses during my devotionals with the Lord. Lots of prayer and patience from myself and my husband. I suggest getting only advice from GODLY, MATURE believers in JESUS versus WORDLY/ unbelievers. There is HUGE difference and the OUTCOME of things will be different.
Do I ever feel like I am not heard because I am submissive?
No. My husband and I have grown over the years in our communication. As cheesy as it may sound, we are best friends and honor each other. When the Lord places something on my heart or his heart, we share it with each other and at times will join in prayer together about it. This should come with a solid, godly marriage. This also may take time and is a learning curve for newlyweds, and new believers/followers of Jesus. Be patient and forgiving.
Does your husband make ALL the decisions for the family?
No. We are a team and we discuss everything. He will make the final decision with lots of prayer and input from me and GODLY COUNSEL. This is the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage. My husband fears the Lord and has a personal relationship with Jesus. He LIVES it OUT. I trust him and know that his walk with the Lord is grounded. I do not need to doubt his decisions because of this.
You mentioned there is an “order”. This sounds unfair. Shouldn’t everyone be “equal” and the kids come “first”?
We love our children and care for them. They have all they need plus more! However, our marriage is not based on our children. We honor our marriage as we are One as a husband and wife. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”. Genesis 2:24, NKJV.
I hope and pray that you and your spouse desire to have a godly, honoring marriage. If you are single and praying for a spouse, pray for guidance, patience, and for the Lord to help you be submissive if and when the time comes.
