How to adapt to a growing family: Going from 1-2 children

• Disclaimer: My views and opinions on having more than one child. Everyone is different and every family is different.

Our daughter was born in 2019. She and our son are approximately 26 months apart. This WAS NOT planned. None of our pregnancies were “planned”. We were very adamant that we did not want to stress the “conceiving process” or “trying” to have children. My husband and I agreed that if God wanted us to have children then HE would give us our children.

As mentioned in the previous post ( https://bibleandcake.com/having-a-baby-going-from-0-1/) we had a few challenges going from 0-1 child. I actually felt it was easier going from 1-2 children. Although, both are close in age it was easier to adapt when it came to the following:

1. Breastfeeding
2. Sleep training ( I immediately slept trained Cake at 4 months old). No cry-out solution worked great. She has been sleeping through the night since 4 months old. This does not include whether she is sick or teething).
3. Teething( I knew what to expect and look out for)
4. Introducing solid foods

Some of the differences I encountered with baby #2:

1. Cake was the only one who had a pacifier after she established a good relationship during breastfeeding. I noticed she had a “high need” for soothing/sucking which is very normal for babies. We weaned this from her when she was 2 years old and she has not looked back since. We also controlled the pacifier usage to only at nap and bedtime. She did NOT walk around with it freely or have it in stores, playing, school, etc. It was only when she went to bed at night and for naps. This made the weaning process very easy. She dropped the pacifier at naps FIRST with no issues. I can explain this more in another post. Please comment/email if you need more information or assistance with this.
2. Potty training. The Cake was potty trained at 2 years old. She was quick and efficient. I completed this process in 2 days (fully potty trained). Cupcake is fully potty trained. He was fully potty trained at 2.5/3 years old. We had a few challenges with our son when it came to pooping on the potty but it was fixed at 2.5/3 years old. I can elaborate more on this as well. Please email or comment if you need more information/feedback on this.
3. Transitioning back to work with having TWO young children at home.

My son adapted well to having a sibling. The only issues we encountered were learning to share and understanding that we have to use “gentle hands”. We have this same issue now that we have another baby in the home, Cakepop. We have to constantly remind the kiddos that their baby brother is younger and we have to be careful.

I find that establishing a consistent routine with your children is very helpful and important. This helped transition from 1-2 children. A few things you should consider when starting a family:

1. Early bedtime for your children. Sleep is imperative for children. They need to sleep and need ALOT more hours than adults.
2. Pay close attention to wake times for babies and children. The wake time is considered the window of time between sleep. It is sooooo important. I cannot stress this. You can avoid a lot of disruptive sleep, tantrums, behavioral issues, and emotional and developmental if you pay attention and implement good sleeping habits.
3. Naps. There are a lot of opinions out there. My opinion is that a child should nap. Babies need more naps than a toddler. A toddler should be around at least one nap a day. My husband and I are strict on this and create a relaxing and quiet environment in our home on the weekends for our school-age son too. He will still nap at home and loves it. Actually, both of our children, will communicate and tell us they are sleepy and want to rest. Cake still naps at school. If they do not nap at home they are still encouraged and required(yes it is a rule) to stay in their rooms to rest quietly. My husband and I use this time in our home to eat, read, shower, nap ourselves, run errands, decompress, and regroup because we can and deserve to too.
4. A schedule and routine. Our children know what to expect. This includes church and extracurricular activities. We are only involved in ONE additional thing outside of school and church. This is to stay sane and it is imperative that we have that family time and teach our children what we consider priorities rather than what society and the world consider to be important. As they get older we will tweak and make things work.

Since both Cupcake and Cake are close in age (also Cakepop) it is helpful to do different activities. We play often outside and the extracurricular activity they do together. They have both been able to attend school and camp together which is comforting for them. We love to take them to school together and hear them talk about their days with each other. We also enjoy hearing feedback from the school staff on how they interact with one another at school or when one may be upset they comfort each other!

Having two children is great. Having three is even better!